His perspective

When Feedback Feels Like Failure

A request about one thing can sound like a verdict on everything he does. The request still deserves an answer.

You mention a missed task. He begins listing the work he did all week. Suddenly you are defending your right to have raised it at all.

One request becomes a verdict

“Nothing I do counts.”
“She has already decided who I am.”
“If I admit this miss, the whole case against me wins.”

Keep the request close to what happened and what needs to change. “The mornings are landing on me. Can you take the school run on Tuesdays without me organising it?” gives you both something real to discuss. “You never help” invites a fight over the past.

Answer the request, not the private trial

He has his own part to do. He can hear a concern without demanding a full account of his virtues before agreeing to help. If the two of you keep ending in a fight about his reaction, the original task remains exactly where it was.