What’s happening here?
Pick the line that comes closest to your situation. You do not need to know exactly what to call it.
Produces: The first issue worth addressing
Open the toolMarriageOS tools
What feels closest to your situation?
You do not need the right label or the whole story. Choose the line closest to your life and get one private place to begin. No account required.
Work out what needs attention
Start with what is happening, not a label.
This will suggest a first move. It will not judge your partner or pretend one tool can fix the relationship.
Pick the one that sounds nearest. Close is enough to find a place to start.
Browse all tools
Different moments need different kinds of help.
Use a short check, a script builder, a deck, or a paced pathway. Each one keeps the same safety boundary and points you on when another tool fits better.
Tool group 01
Need something now
Meet the moment, time the conversation, or return after damage.
Talk now or pause?
Decide whether this moment can hold the conversation—or whether you need a pause and a clear time to return.
Produces: A decision to talk or pause, with words to use
Open the toolClean Opening Builder
Turn one real concern into a first sentence you could actually say.
Produces: Spoken, text and short openings
Open the toolAfter the Fight
Stop the fight doing more damage and make your way back without pretending the issue is solved.
Produces: A re-entry card
Open the toolClear it before it hardens
Raise one hurt, let it go, or set a time to return before it joins the backlog.
Produces: One raise, release or return action
Open the toolBefore you decide tonight
Work out what kind of moment this is without asking a short tool to decide whether you stay or leave.
Produces: A private decision-support card and one reversible next step
Open the toolTool group 02
Understand the pattern
Name what needs attention without scoring the marriage or diagnosing a partner.
Marriage Systems Check
See which part of the marriage needs attention first, without reducing the whole relationship to a score.
Produces: The part of the marriage to work on first
Open the toolWhere did the chemistry go?
Look at what has changed around desire before you decide what the flatness means.
Produces: What may be getting in the way and where to start
Open the toolResentment State Check
See whether this is ordinary strain, a growing backlog, hardening resentment, punishment, or something unsafe.
Produces: What the resentment needs next
Open the toolOutside Attention Boundary Check
Notice validation, comparison, or secrecy early enough to put a boundary back in place.
Produces: An outside-boundary and homeward action
Open the toolWhat is feeding the resentment?
See which pressures are strongest today, then choose one matching move for the next 24 hours.
Produces: The strongest pressure lane or tie, plus a distinct 24-hour move
Open the toolTool group 03
Carrying, effort and roles
Turn overload, manager mode and useful-but-unwanted pain into one experiment.
Protected Attention Builder
Protect one reliable stretch of attention without policing devices or each other.
Produces: A seven-day attention agreement
Open the toolEffort & Care Rebalance
Put the visible and invisible work on the table, then hand over one area completely for seven days.
Produces: An effort map and seven-day ownership card
Open the toolBack to Partner Mode
Step out of the manager-and-dependent roles without pretending follow-through does not matter.
Produces: A one-domain ownership reset
Open the toolChosen, Not Just Useful
Bring back signs that you notice and choose each other, not only what each person provides.
Produces: A Notice–Choose–Signal plan
Open the toolTool group 04
Closeness, attraction and desire
Reduce pressure and rebuild conditions for warmth, newness and chosen attention.
No + Repair
Keep every no absolute while taking avoidable pressure and hurt out of refusal and initiation.
Produces: A no-pressure response agreement
Open the toolLow-Pressure Closeness
Find one kind of warmth that can end exactly where you agreed it would.
Produces: One low-pressure closeness card
Open the toolBring Back New
Find something new that fits the energy, time, and money you actually have.
Produces: A new idea matched to your time, energy and budget
Open the toolAliveness Reset
Bring back initiative, self-direction, and energy without dominance games.
Produces: A 14-day aliveness experiment
Open the toolProtect Desire
Protect the conditions in which desire can breathe, without tracking sex or pressuring an outcome.
Produces: A personal plan for protecting desire
Open the toolWhat helps desire feel possible?
Notice which current conditions seem to support desire, then try one low-pressure change for seven days.
Produces: One or two current conditions, a friction remover, and a seven-day experiment
Open the toolTool group 05
Longer reset and adaptation
Use a paced pathway when one move is not enough.
Roommates to Reconnection
Move a functional but flat household back towards ordinary warmth and contact that is not about logistics.
Produces: A plan for keeping reconnection going
Open the toolResentment Reset & Recommitment
Stop hurt leaking out as punishment, rebuild ordinary contact, and see whether active recommitment is possible.
Produces: A 30-day reset and a clearer decision
Open the toolLife-Phase Intimacy Redesign
Adapt closeness to the bodies, health, responsibilities, and season of life you are in now.
Produces: A 14-day life-phase adaptation plan
Open the toolAlways available
Fear, coercion or retaliation changes what comes next.
Do not use a relationship script to manage danger. The private safety gate never assigns a score or diagnosis.